Controlling your workload

How dominated is your work-life by the effects of others?

Some clients feel a lot of frustration when seeing issues get in their way and use coaching sessions to work through how to deal with the impact; actions are taken to address and remove the frustration. Communication is very positive and clear.

Other clients seem to accept the frustration as a clamp on their capabilities and tend to get bogged down well before taking a decision on what to do; actions are focused more on recognising the symptoms and causes. Communication is fuzzy and actions to reflect on events can be uninspiring. Yet directive advice maintains their position in their own decision-making.

Babies have very clear communication: they need something they scream. Their communication is also fuzzy; the specific need is not obvious, and carers offer a process of elimination to deduce the need. Not everyone has the patience to tend to fuzzy communicators.

How can we condition people for clarity? Is it the same as conditioning children to be self-confident and clear about what they want, with less and less direction?

I was recommended to ‘understand my own psychology’ on a visualisation CD yesterday. (I don’t think the unusual summer sun had gone to my head!) What does that mean? OK, I’d love to spend more time on psychology study, but that’s not a priority! Presumably it just means the way we think about things, what makes us tick. I found it strangely encouraging that it reflected my blog title in that we are all different, unique.

If you currently feel you’re struggling, somehow not doing what you’re supposed to be doing, or just generally there’s something that’s difficult, maybe it’s just the way your brain works, what it’s used to thinking, how you formulate your opinions. Would it serve you better to think another way? Look at family, colleagues, peers, how do they deal with similar circumstances and think what you can learn from them, rather than say to yourself “I’m not like that”. We don’t always have to try hard to change our habits, to improve things; rather we can put more emphasis on our thinking.

Recently I came across an article in Psychology Today about disturbed sleep patterns. Encouragingly, it advised to relax and let the body right itself. There is a chance that your subconscious gets into the habit of thinking of the bedroom as the place to be awake!

Perhaps one view of ‘difficulty’ is that it’s the brain’s feedback control telling us to relax first of foremost. Then if we sense the existence of a bad habit, we can move to an alternate approach with more ease!

What aspects of you could it help to think differently about?

Shirley Thompson - The Desk Coach
Time Management and Motivation Specialist
Tel: 01425 480631

Not being a great talker, I often wonder at those who love to talk.
When I’m coaching people, there are those who will answer a question with a huge amount of detail and not easily get to the point and others who will say “don’t know” as an initial reaction (and of course a whole range in between!)

Recently someone said to me “it’s good to talk” and that made me stop in my tracks: was I encouraging too much talking because my natural tendency is to need to be drawn out to talk?
It’s said the ratio of listening to talking is naturally 2:1 because we have 2 ears and 1 mouth! What about you? Do you have enough people who’ll really listen to you, or would you value someone doing that while you talk?

I was brought up on the phrase ‘children should be seen and not heard’; hardly conducive to being prepared for being asked for an opinion on things and having something ready to say! Sometimes asking people what they think after “don’t know” works fine, because they just haven’t worked the pros and cons yet, but if you’ve not learned to list them, or brainstorm ideas, conversation can be slow-going.

(I would recommend Toastmasters for working up an opinion on things: we talk about all sorts of topics in Bournemouth and every meeting there is a chance to speak ‘off the cuff’ for 1-2 minutes, not to mention listening to others’ opinions through their speeches.)
Shirley Thompson - The Desk Coach
Time Management and Motivation Specialist
Tel: 01425 480631

Do you know how you make decisions?

On my NLP Practitioner course (thanks Mavis Kerrigan at SmallSteps Giant Leaps) I learned my consideration steps, based on our ’senses’ - e.g what do I think about them, are they value for money, how do they feel, how do they look, what will others think?
And the consideration is wider than that - I probably need a deadline to go buy a pair of shoes!

Considering we make many decisions in any day (eg 221 about food! ) is it any wonder our brains use a ‘process’ for decision-making. Apparently there is a distinguishable sequence of checks when a decision is called for. Can you discern this in yourself?

It’s a great process to have - the faster we decide, the faster we get on and do! One of my clients recently highlighted a newly-realised weakness - spending too much time wondering how to cope with so many things to do, rather than doing them!

How many decisions will you make today?

Shirley Thompson - The Desk Coach
Time Management and Motivation Specialist
Tel:  01425 480631

How frustrating do you find it when people focus in on detail, when the point of your current conversation is to discuss the bigger picture?

Despite understanding people have different preferences, (and normally being a very considerate person,)I can start to tense when the person I’m talking to is so clever in their (detail) field but fails to get above that to purpose, value and direction. Will they play in their sandbox for ever? Does anyone else exist in their world? (And my criticism of others probably highlights I exhibit these traits when those around me talk about even bigger picture ideas!)

Do you find big picture people tend more to know what they want in their career, seem confident about what want they want out of life, have a vision and direction? (And detailed people are more self-reliant, happy to play, passionate about their focus?)

Do you want to

1. ‘play in a sandbox’ in life, so rarely alter the bigger picture?

2. influence the community you’re in?

Does it depend on how high you want to ‘helicopter’ and the breadth of your picture (and influence)?

Shirley Thompson - The Desk Coach
Time Management and Motivation Specialist
Tel:  01425 480631

Do you ever meet people who you can ‘feel’ are definitely too busy? They scurry about, speak quickly, say “I’ve no time to..” a lot? Every time I do, it reminds me of crisis-oriented working.

Within a short space of time yesterday, I met one person who I felt might easily get into the position of rarely lifting their head up (to smell the roses as many have said to me in the past!) and another who’d been working 12 hour days for weeks on a project, but was now taking time out to relax.

Stress is defined as being stretched for an extended period of time, so crises are ‘OK’ if there is a lull to catch-up. I’m sure we all have a different view of how long ‘extended’ is; and certainly it depends on knowing when the stretching started!

If you’re extending yourself at the moment, have you promised yourself a time when it can stop? Are you clear of the value in you being busy right now?

Shirley Thompson - The Desk Coach
Time Management and Motivation Specialist
Tel: 01425 480631 Email: info@desk-coach.co.uk

Last night, I listened to a fascinating, interactive talk by Rob Cuesta, who is a distributor of a 360 degree assessment product by Reach Communications, which will help you uncover your personal brand.

I was reminded once again that others evaluate you from their own position, and, for success, it is important to be seen in a positive light by those you want to impress. Rob’s focus is corporate careers, and brand is very important to businesses, but have you thought of your friends: are you choosing them for their brand or are they choosing you for yours?

If you haven’t worked out a particular group you want to appeal to, then how can you decide which of your strengths, values and beliefs are important? If you choose the ones you think are most important, then you can work out the group you appeal to. (I wonder if anyone has done this and then worked out the group doesn’t appeal to them! )

I’m going to reflect again on my 360 feedback, and will blog later what I come up with. It matters not whether the egg or chicken comes first as long as we are clear about the current evolution point, right?

Shirley Thompson - The Desk Coach
Time Management and Motivation Specialist
Tel: 01425 480631 Email: info@desk-coach.co.uk

One of my clients recently said I’d given them spark (and organisation). What an unusual compliment, and it got me wondering how many people think I have ’spark’ to give. [The dictionary says it means a ‘fiery particle of burning substance. a small bright object, a flash of wit, lively or elegant fellow’. ]

I personally have always been drawn to work in an organisation with spark, because it keeps morale and energy levels high. On one’s own, perhaps it is easier to lose sight of it.

Does my own style need to show spark to display I’ve got some to give? Maybe! They say ‘people buy people’ and leaders are made by those who want to follow. [On the other hand, in chemistry, there such a thing as a catalyst that promotes a reaction, yet otherwise is not part of the chemical change! That’s sophisticated so perhaps better to take steps to help ourselves!]

Shall I regularly have something bright and/or different about my desk? My dress? My attitude? My marketing materials? My emails? My talks?

How much spark can you observe in people? Red Nose Day could make it more obvious! Notice those around you today; who needs a flash of your wit, elegance or other spark? Or email them this blog URL to get them to take a look at themselves!

My Toastmaster magazine arrived in the mail today; always a joy to read! (Ask me if you want to know more about Toastmasters. ) The theme this month is humour and one article asks ‘what’s your humour style’? Apparently you’ll probably find it easiest to tell a funny story if it is something you’d laugh at. No wonder I don’t tell many then, as (I think) I prefer things to be straightforward (spelt-out) yet in some way educational! Perhaps I need to find something easier to laugh at - cracker jokes?

Someone highlighting irony in a situation would certainly amuse. (Yet?) Life of Brian certainly does not! (That made me feel depressed and helpless!) I love to be around funny people, because it increases momentum for me to have fun!

Where do you find your humour at work?